Doesn't that sound awful. She said I was awfully quick to get grouchy, and thought I was tired a lot. You see, I'm not a guy who gets "depressed, as in clinically." But, I know I've been sort of just dissatisfied with life. My marriage is bunked up, and I keep asking myself the question: is this all there is? I keep imagining my life going on as is, and it just isn't terribly exciting.
I've learned many things, and some of them were hard to learn. To learn that your religion doesn't really have every answer out there, and that there are things that are unfortunately quite pertinent to my own situation that have no resolution hasn't been much fun.
The bishop cornered me at a cub scout event and asked me why I wasn't coming to priesthood. I had no good answer, and committed to going. I'd rather never go again to be honest. Somehow listening to some inevitably terribly taught lesson just isn't too exciting. He told me that people notice what I do, and that they look to me as an anchor. Boy, I sure haven't felt like much of an anchor lately. Drifting without one perhaps, but an anchor??
The event I was at was fun--my son won it... Quite the affirmation of my skills of craftsmanship I thought.
I understand completely and haven't been very enthusiastic about non-Sacrament Mtg meetings myself lately. Of course my travel schedule also affects my ability to attend regularly in my home ward. But even when I'm home, it's just kinda meh. I've heard all the lessons so often, and I can't remember the last time I heard an actually stimulating discussion that really edified or taught. I'd much rather spend that time with my precious children who are growing up so fast and who tell me they'd rather spend the time with me too than sit in a Primary lesson that bores them to death as well. WWJD? I think I know.
ReplyDeleteAlan--Priesthood lived right up to my expectation. A group of high priests (I'm just assigned to go there) with a lesson way off the deep end of deep doctrines, info right out of the journal of discourses. Really strange and useless stuff. I just kept sitting there thinking, what does this have to do with the God I really believe in?
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