You just never know what will come up in a conversation. Before lunch today, I was getting a drink out of the office fridge, which sits in a big office shared by some assistants. One of them is a gal I've known a long time. She's nice, and just divorced. I think she finds me attractive, which won't do her much good...
I sat down to talk with her, and she mentioned it was the 8th anniversary of her marriage, and a couple other things. Then we got to talking about my own divorce, and my kids, etc. She said she was thinking about how close of a relationship to keep with her ex, which kind of surprised me. She said they were still friends, and it wasn't a horrible situation. They never had kids. Thats when the conversation got interesting....
You see--people tell me everything. And I mean everything. Its like I'm a perpetual unpaid "Shrink." So we were talking about her ex, and immediately it comes out that she thinks her ex is gay. (Gulp). He evidently had quite a thing for gay (and other) porn. For years--and he couldn't give it up. Lied to her all the time about it. She says something just told her "deep down" that he was gay. Yes, I was surprised...
So then we get to talking about him, and how she feels now is the time in his life to come clean, and fess up. We got to talking about the church, and prop 8, and what growing up in a very mormon community (ie American Fork) might have been like for him. Turns out we pretty much felt the same about these issues. We agreed about same sex marriage, and how the church in general handles these things.
I wonder if she's the type that is attracted to gay guys... Fraid so, though i didn't tell her as much.
I think in the future we will look back at Prop 8 and see it as one of our greatest blessings... Thanks to Prop 8, millions of people are talking about same-sex marriage and sexuality who never would have been talking about it until now. Mormons are talking about it... Prop 8 is shining a light on a lot of homophobic ugliness, and as a result, people are waking up.
ReplyDeleteIt kinda reminds me of that Brigham Young quote... You can't kick us "down." You can only kick us "up"!
I had to laugh when I read your post about your co-worker who is attracted to gay guys. I am guilty as charged. So guilty I married one, although I didn't know it at the time. In looking back over my dating history I would have to say a fair number were probably gay. You can always have a great conversation and emotional connection with a gay guy. Its the physical part that has a few problems.
ReplyDeleteSince re-entering the dating world I found my self again attracted to the same type of man. For about a year and a half now I have had this very "masculine" guy wanting a piece of my action, so to speak. I blew him off for over a year because he was a nice guy, but not my "type"
After a year of analyzing what my type is, I realized I needed to pick a new type. After all if you want a different result, make a different choice. I slowly opened up my heart to him and it has blown me away! He is as far away from gay as can be, and nearly opposite of my ex-husband in every regard. It dawned on me the other day "oh this is what a hetrosexual relationship is like" and its rather nice.
So yes, I do believe a lot of women who marry gay men like a certain type of guy, usually one who is gay. Its comfortable for them, like your favorite pair of shoes. But as comfortable as those favorite shoes are some times you have to be a bit daring and try on the stilletos, after you never know how they will look on you until you slip your feet into them. Who knows you might not want to every take them off.....I certaintly don't.