I'm feeling so messed up the last couple days. I have no idea why. I just am going through this perpetual loneliness feeling. ie--if I'm not with someone else, I just feel out of it. Can't seem to shake it. I miss my sons, I miss what my ex wife once was to me. I miss having someone to share my life with.
Emotion hits me in waves once in a while. I think I've been avoiding it so long, that it is now taking any opportunity to get even. I was sitting at lunch in the food court yesterday when it hit. Next thing I know I'm on the phone with my mother nearly crying. UGGGH.
Multiple people have told me that I need to learn to like being alone. I don't know how. I hate it. I am quickly learning why people get married on the rebound.
Hope the rest of you are having a better weekend than mine so far.
I wish were in the food court to maybe help ease your loneliness. I come to Provo a lot maybe we could do lunch some time. A big hug from some one who cares.
ReplyDeleteHi Joe,
ReplyDeleteRoughly a year ago I got started on this path, I was more horrified than hopeful. I remember taking walks with the dog at 2:00 am and thinking: "What have I done?". My therapist did help me realize that there were going to be times when I'd be alone and warned me that it would be very hard sometimes, but in time it would get better. I had to like to be just with myself and that was rough, but in time it indeed get better. I also made it a point to get out of my apartment and meet/greet people.
I hope you know that you have people thinking of you and wishing that the hard times pass fast and that good times come to you in the near future!
hugs,pl
bror: Would love to have lunch with you sometime. Please consider yourself invited.
ReplyDeletePub man; That advice you were given is just proving kind of hard for me. Wish I were better at it. Guess its a skill I'll have to gain. Today was much better by the way. Played in my garden a lot, and did some things I like doing.
Hey man...really sorry to hear you had a rough weekend. I totally understand. It's really easy for me to work more hours in an effort to not address my real problems at hand until they finally all make themselves known at once and what an overwhelming experience that can be. Send me an email or hit me up on google chat whenever man.
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone.
Shoot. That's got to be really hard. I've never been married, much less divorced so I know I don't understand completely, but I do feel for you.
ReplyDeleteAs far as learning to love to be alone, I think it's great advice. Of course, it's not like you can just flip a switch and suddenly love solitude. But whether or not you're attached to someone (I'm not currently), there's so much you can do alone that perhaps you can't do with somebody else. Personally, I've re-discovered reading, exercise, and watching the movies *I* want to watch for a change. I'm not saying those exact things will work for you, but there's my two cents. It doesn't replace having someone there by your side, but it can do a lot to mitigate the loneliness when it strikes.
Good luck working your way out of this. Looks like you have a lot of people pulling for you.
This is my first time to visit your blog. I'm glad to find other Moho bloggers! As this is your first post to read, I don't know all of your background and story.
ReplyDeleteBut I'll counter the suggestion that you learn to love being alone. Of course you've heard of extroverts and introverts. Someone once told me a good definition. Extroverts find their center and their power by being with people. Introverts find it by being alone. I consider myself an outgoing introvert. I love being with people, but I need to time alone to recenter and regenerate.
Those definitions are fluid however. You may be in a period in your life where you need people. You need them to be close and you need them to share your emotions. Denying that and denying yourself that will only cause more pain.
As I said, I haven't read previous posts, but I hope you have friends that know about your problems and in which you can confide. Loneliness is the worst feeling in the world. Find those people that can alleviate that pain. If it means busting out of your box and doing things you are afraid of doing, it's probably for the best.