To the young "Gay" men of the Church

You are really an amazing bunch. Probably the most musically, artistically, theatrically talented people in the whole church. But of course, some of you don't fit that mold, and have incredible athletic skills. You come in all shapes, sizes and families, and one of the biggest challenges you've faced is that you just don't fit into stereotypes. You've been listening to church talks since you were babies telling you the life you should be leading. Your problem is that you weren't created by our Heavenly Father to be stereotypic. You were given something really different. You are sexually and emotionally attracted to other men. When you dream at night, it isn't about women. You go to school and work or to hang outs with friends and families and end up occasionally hearing people insult those who are just like you.

But some things aren't so different:

• God loves you just like you are



• The atonement is for all men, not just those who fit the stereotypic mold of the church perfectly

Most rational people who have been through what you are going through can see a few things. First off--you can't pray this away. You can't be so perfect that you earn freedom from it. You can literally hate and despise yourself into shame and suicide, but it does no good. It doesn't do the church, your family or most importantly YOU any good. Some get the mistaken idea from old church books and pamphlets that "if you just go on a mission" you'll come home straight, or worse, if you get married, it will all work out perfectly. Well, I and many others can tell you that those things aren't magical triggers.


A mission may be a beautiful, wonderful experience, or a "try your soul" kind of time. I enjoyed mine, for the most part, but had one heck of a crush on one of my companions. I knew why... Marriage is really tough. Finding someone is hard enough, without having "issues." But being dishonest about this is the wrong thing to do. It affects some one else's life in a way that is really unfair. Your best intentions may not be good enough in that situation.


So what's a guy supposed to do? Well, you can fight it your whole life, and live a partial life as a perpetual bachelor with people asking you why you aren't married, or you can accept your "gayness" and probably be a whole lot happier. I'll freely admit that when it comes to choices, neither appears too appealing. But I think an honest life is a better choice. You of course will have to come to your own conclusions in your own time.


You aren't alone. There are thousands of us who are just like you. Maybe older, maybe in different situations, but they are there. The "guestimate" is that at least 5% of men are gay, meaning they are more attracted to men than women.


Love is love, no matter whether it is man/woman, or man/man. It feels the same, and produces the same happiness. But for those of us men who prefer men, there will always be a physical side of this love/intimacy that isn't the same with a woman.

Here is something I hope you'll watch, if you haven't seen it already.

http://farbetweenmovie.com/it-gets-better-at-byu/