The title is intentional. It's this sentiment that I have been going through in the world of dating. In the past month, I've met two great guys online, via facebook or other, and begun a conversation. We get to know each other, enjoy it, and then it turns into phone calls, followed by meeting them, and going on an actual date. Each step in this is the "building" of the wave. You look at their picture after they contact you to see if there is any attraction, then you kind of go through the "checkpoints" of life in learning about them. Then you hear their voice, then you actually get to see their face and spend time with them. Both times, I kept feeling the wave building. You get excited, you love spending time texting them, you can't wait to hear from them. I should label this the danger zone. It literally consumes your life. In both cases, this went on.
Then, for some reason or other, the waves crash into the rocks. Hope is dashed, and something replaces it, whether that be longing, or anger, or temporary depression. When it isn't your choice, the ego is bruised. Sometimes, its harsh. Sometimes, its more gentle. You keep wondering what you did wrong and what was wrong with you. You may or may not ever get answers.
You want to be angry with them, but you just can't, because you know that in another chapter of the story, you did the same thing to someone else.
Then, after a few days of this (or more), hope springs up again, and the interest in finding someone starts again.
Could someone invent a no-pain version of this process?
The no pain version is called Solitary and Celibate. It's pain free but frustrating.
ReplyDeleteThe joys of meeting guys online. I have also had a couple of dates this month with guys I have met online and although they were both hot, they weren't nearly as interesting as the guys I had imagined in my head.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry this process is painful for you (and others, as we know, I honestly wish I could help take that stress and anxiety away from you guys...) Your post made me think of a thing or two, I may be completely off my rocker here, but for what is worth: Are you putting a lot of expectations and possibly hopes too early on these connections, by that I mean are you treating them like full-on relationships from the get-go?
ReplyDeleteI know it sounds easy for me to speak when I'm in a relationship which I seriously stumbled upon without expecting to be in one and it may not be fair to give my opinion in matters like this. Just know that I think you're an amazing and handsome guy and anyone should consider themselves lucky guy to get to know you. I mean it!
Hugs,Miguel
Oh, dating. Maybe I should do more of it before I really comment here haha :)
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