Coming out to my Mother

I'm a lucky guy. God knew what I needed in a mother, and he gave it to me. This has been shown to me multiple times in this life. Yesterday was no exception.



My mother comes out to Utah often, and she has been staying with my kids while I was on a vacation. I came home a few days ago, and yesterday was Sunday, and we all went to church. The topic for Gospel Doctrine was Eternal Marriage. From the moment I read it on the board, I was worried. After about 15 minutes of it, I'd had my emotional fill. It's just really hard to listen to someone teach a lesson about how life should be, and how we are all meant for this and that. The teacher is a wonderful human being, as are most of those there. So, I got up and started leaving. Mom asked me where I was going, and I told her "home." Then I walked out.

Walking home--I was again a mess, but less so than previously. I got home, and started cooking Sunday dinner. After about 30 minutes, my Mom comes in the front door, much as I had anticipated she would. I told her I just couldn't take listening to that kind of lesson right now, and she understood, she understood really well, having gone through divorce. She told me there were periods of time she just couldn't even go to church.

Suddenly, it all came out. I told her that it was especially hard when you have a built in problem, then admitted I was gay. She couldn't quite believe it at first, given that I was married and have kids, but then the wheels of memory started spinning and she remembered some of my Obviously Gay traits of childhood. We talked quite awhile, I tried to explain it, and then we got interrupted.

Later we went for a walk and went through more of it. I think she finds it hard to put herself in my shoes. She told me I needed to find another church and move at one point. We also talked about whether I was "bi" or Gay, and I tried to describe the spectrum. She really got it, hugged me like there was no tomorrow, and expressed her love in perfectly straight forward language. She gave no lectures, didn't sob uncontrollably or anything of the sort. She told me about a friend of my sister's who she knows is Gay.

She asked some questions I couldn't answer--and I told her about my inability to reconcile parts of the gospel with being Gay. She understood that.

I'm a lucky boy. I love her, and she cherishes me, no matter what. I wish all LDS men who had to come out to a parent had it this easy.