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So, my mother and I had another conversation last night. She and I think alike in a lot of ways. We talked about people who can only see the world in black and white, and how difficult they are to deal with. She told me that after she joined the LDS Church (in her 30's) it was a while before she really understood that the church considers itself to be the only true church. She was shocked when she heard it. She asked herself, and evidently God why there were all these churches once, and the answer that immediately came streaming into her mind was --because there are so many kinds of people.

My Mother usually lives back in the midwest, and has a home teacher who kind of drives me nuts. Good teacher, but one of those extreme black and white folks who drove his family and children nuts. She calls him "black and white Bob." To be honest, these are my least favorite kind of people in the church, and outside of the church (in politics for example).

So she and I have this really nice conversation, and awhile later, when I was hoping to chat with one of our fellow Moho's, I hear a knock on my door, and its the home teacher, and the EQ presidente. Nice men, but why then. Some would tell me--to keep me on the straight and narrow. We talked a bit, but my kids were there, and I didn't say a lot, other than explaining that church was emotionally difficult for me right now, and I hoped neither one of them ever had to understand what I was going through. I didn't share with them that going to priesthood was my absolute least favorite activity possible.

Interestingly, while we were talking--the topic of the Earthquake in Chile came up. One of these men is from there, and he talked about it some. He said something to this effect: Well, you know that the Church is building a temple in Concepcion, so the Lord is just doing a little "cleansing."

I didn't reply, but I will here. I don't believe in a God that "cleanses" in this manner. I don't believe he uses violence, etc to harm people's lives in order to further some particular purposes. Yes, I'm admitting I have a hard time accepting Noah's ark, and the fact that he really wanted the israelites to massacre hundreds of thousands of people in order to take over the Land for Israel.

Well, is the Lord ready to cleanse me off this earth? Have I no purpose in his plans and no potential for good because I am a homosexual man?

Sorry--I just can't believe that. He either loves us or he doesn't.