This morning had begun pretty normally. I got up, ate a bowl of cereal, shaved, brushed my teeth, folded laundry, ironed a shirt, and went over to the gym. Nothing out of the ordinary. Did 10 minutes on the elliptical trainer just to warm up, and towards the end of it, I started watching this "preview" segment on CNN about an upcoming documentary (tonight at 8 ET). It was about gay and lesbian young people, and an organization trying to help them. I kept going when the 10 min was over just because it was interesting, kind of touching of course. About 5 minutes later, I got this epiphany feeling telling me I needed to do something about these kids and helping them.
I was remembering something in my Patriarchal blessing that talked about doing a lot of good for my fellow man. The next thing I know I was nearly trembling. Cold shivers running up and down my whole body. I knew the feeling. I knew what it meant. It was God trying to tell me he wasn't kidding about this. He was serious. It was one of those moments where you just know the connection is there. It was so powerful I thought for awhile about getting off the machine.
God made me Gay for a reason. He gave me talents for a reason, and now he's trying to tell me something for a reason. People need help. the stunning thing about all this was that it had been a long time since I felt this feeling. A long time and in a very, very different setting. I was then an LDS missionary. Now I'm a semi-(at best) active gay guy who shows up at church now and then. In all of the LDS views--I'm as unworthy as they come to be communicating with God in this sort of manner. But once again, I find my old assumptions falling away like scales falling off my eyes.
God will take you, whoever you are, and use you for the best he can. Things I thought he was SO worried about are irrelevant to him.
Fascinating morning. My treadmill revelation.
Some of my most powerful spiritual experiences are on the treadmill at the gym. :)
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