The boxes are everywhere. Piled all over the living room, computer room, and other rooms. Packed and pretty much ready to go. She and I have battled about kids, but not about stuff. Stuff is easy, kids are not. I feel no desire to be cruel, vengeful, spiteful, or anything like it. I don't know where my life will go from here, but tomorrow morning she will leave, along with a whole lot of stuff.
The house will be much more empty, my bed too, and my kids are going to miss her until they see her again. My mood is generally good, though I find myself experiencing ups and downs more than usual. My friends are kind of swarming around me. Got the first call from a ward member yesterday who I believe found out through some neighbor kids. Oh my. I don't want to go to church on Sunday.
Gentlemen--I have only one major regret and I will make my "stern" warning once again. Be honest with yourself and anyone you are seriously dating. Marrying someone who doesn't know you are gay (or partly so) is a big, big mistake. Deceit will not bring you happiness, a "cure" or anything of the sort. It will affect their lives in a harsh way. Eyes wide open is the only way to enter into a heterosexual marriage, and even then, there are no guarantees of success.
Here's to life, book 2...
Good luck, Joe! I hope things are easier (if not happier), knowing about the state of things, rather than always wondering.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, I wish we could loud blast your warning anywhere young people are dating, like BYU...I think it would save everyone a lot of stress and frustration.
ReplyDeleteI wish only the best for you. I am also glad you are still blogging. Thanks for the post and remember I am thinking about you and your kids. Good luck fellow MOHO.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking about you. I'm glad that the kids are with you now. You didn't really give specifics about the custody situation, but I hope you'll fight for your kids' best interests. I know things are terrible right now. They will eventually get better. I've been through something like this myself.
ReplyDeletewhat MoHoHawaii said. Every word of it.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could be closer to help. Sending prayers south.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you. You are in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually excited for you in this new experience. I hope you can reach a good agreement with regards to the kids. I think overall this will turn out to be a good thing though. But then again, what the hell do I know?
ReplyDeleteHi Joe, your post brought a wave of memories to my mind, having been there not too long ago. I sit here tears rolling down, I know what the pain feels like. However, there's also room to feel excitement for a new beginning, although scary these things show what we're made out of and the lessons we can learn. Like the others, sending you warm thoughts.
ReplyDeletehugs,pl
HUG!
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best and hope that you can be happy with where life is taking you.
ReplyDeleteWow... a new beginning with new opportunities and new experiences to learn and grow and be the best you can be. I look at this as a great blessing to work your way forward instead of regretting and fretting over what was or what could have been.
ReplyDeleteWhether you should have married or whether anyone else should or should not can be debated. I still wonder how I ever did it, but I wholeheartedly agree that honesty must be the foundation of a relationship - it's taken me a lifetime to begin to learn that hard yet fundamental lesson.
To all the guys--Thank you so much. Your concern means a lot. I sort of feel like life is swarming around me--in terms of my friends circling the wagons. Both online as a moho, and in offline life.
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not--I do feel some of that excitement for restarting life. I can see the difficulty my kids are going through, and sometimes feel it myself--but I just can't deny I feel something exciting.